Monday, May 11, 2009

Morning Blues

So here is the morning dilemma for most of us. We are on treatments- herbal, antibiotics, supplements. We are doing better i.e. we can think, our headaches are not keeping us in bed unable to speak, we can eat though most foods are joyless, we can tolerate some noise and light, we are doing okay. Nights are still hellish episodes of heat and cold and sweats and aches. Your family looks at you in the morning, gauging where you are, how you are. Should they ask? Should they offer? So you say it, "I'm okay." What does that mean? Will you still get some help? Will they understand that you still feel as though you are fighting a flu with a touch of madness? Do you take Motrin or Nux vomica, up your vitamins C, or try that inspirational tape that helped so much 3 months ago? Do you go online to see who is posting a new hope or will that just depress you? Are you fighting your daughter's cold or is it the Monday blues? Is it a one year anniversary of treatment or is it the middle of a new protocol designed to kill cysts and 2 co-infections all in one fell swoop. Do you need an IV or a vacation? You are not bad, but you are not great. The weird thing is that if I can fight and power through and not think too much today will be okay. My mornings are like this.

1 comment:

  1. For me, Mondays are always a reminder that I am not returning to a job I never would have quit if it weren't for being ill. Monday marks the start of the week and another "beginning" of sorts. I hate beginnings due to all the Dr.'s I had to "begin" with and leave and all the treatments you "begin" and don't work, and all the diagnoses that "began" the road to wellness and failed. I want the END - the healing. And here I am again anxiously awaiting the beginning of hard core Lyme treatment - if I can get my Dr. on my side..

    Blessings to you..